Derby the Dalmation

Hewoo

My name is Derby... my Puppa is Mike, and Cilwy is his girlfurwend... but I beg to differ, I think she is MY girlfurwend... I wuv her wewy much.

I met Destiny back in Apwil when my Puppa and her Momma started dating .... just when she got sick. I waz bummed b'cuz I just met her and I liked having a buddy around to do stuff wif. I am gwad she got better and we got to pway this summer.

I didnt always understand why she couldnt pway or keep up with me, but I wuv'd her just the same. She was very purty... and I wuv'd being her furwend..

Sometimes we would just hang out together

I liked to kiss her

No matter where we went we always had fun!

We went swimming too!

Sometimes we just liked to chill out.....

Cilwy has been wewy sad since Destiny has been gone. I'm not as sad because I know I will see her again someday... so I try to do things to cheer Cilwy up....

I act wike a cwown....




I sweep in her bed when she is sad....

I give her lots of wet kisses...

or I sweep in Destiny's bed to keep it warm....

Although.. I have to admit.. its not the same when Destiny isnt here....

I did want to thank awl the doggies out there who cheered Cilwy up wif their comments and wuv'ins. I give her kisses, butt wiggles and smiles every day to make sure she stays happy.

WOOF

My promise to Destiny

When Destiny fell ill back in April... there were a few long and scary days where I wasn't sure if Destiny would pull through. I was heartbroken because we had just gotten out on our own... it was supposed to be me and her against the world - the Adventures of Cilly and Destiny! I had grand plans of taking her camping, hiking, swimming - all the things we loved to do... and then in a moment, all those plans were put on hold.

As she was healing and on the road to recovery, as I was administering fluids to make her stronger and well, I promised her that this summer - if she pulled through - if she had strength - would be the best summer of our lives.



I promised her long afternoons of lazing in the sun. I promised her napping and flicking butterflies off her ears... I promised her swimming, hiking, and seeing beautiful things. And, to the best of my knowledge - she wanted all those things to come true, because she got strong enough and well enough to experience them all. I lived out my promise to her, and took her to all our favorite places last summer.

One place in particular is a 200' waterfall in the mountains of western Maine. Its a gem of a place, not that many people know of it, and its always been a magical place for me and my girl. I was anxious to take her back there, and I was thrilled to show it to Mike and Derby the Dalmatian for the first time.

Destiny was still shaky from just recovering from her first bout of renal failure. I wasn't sure she would be able to handle such a hike.




But my girl, the Queen of Ten-Ass-City.... took to the trail and hiked gallantly along side Derby.

To get to the waterfall, we have to cross a river 5 times... some areas were easy to cross... others were a little scary. At one point, Destiny's reign over Ten-Ass-City was being challenged, and it didn't look hopeful that she would have the nerve to cross over with the rest of us.




I kept her leash tight so she knew I wouldn't let her be swept down the rapids... and I kept saying "C'mon Des! You can do it! I've got you! C'mon Destiny!"..... Mike and Derby got across, and he joined in the cheering section... "C'mon Des! C'mon Girl! You can do it!"

Since it was a holiday weekend, there were alot of people hiking along with us.... and soon, as people hop-scotched across the rocks and made their way to the other side of the river, and they looked back at the timid white dog.. and something about her made them join in... "C'mon girl! C'mon Destiny!"

Before I knew it, a dozen strangers were cheering on my girl... she looked at all of us with hesitation, then she looked at me with determination.... and she leapt into the water and made her way over to us.... with tears in my eyes, I joined in the applause and cheers that the complete strangers had engaged in.... little did they know the battle my girl had fought to be there that day - little did they know who they were cheering for.... they were cheering for the White Wonder... Destiny - the Queen of Ten-Ass-City. She made it across and was greeted with pats on the head -"Atta girls" and I even saw some people doing high-5's...

That moment will live in my heart forever.

Once we crossed that tenuous part of the river, the rest of the hike was a piece of cake, and we approached a 200 foot waterfall....

We stayed there a few hours... long enough to eat lunch - talk with fellow hikers, and gather strength for the trek back.

Appropriately enough.... this location is named
Angel Falls.

I received Destiny's ashes back on Thursday, along with a Tera-cotta mold of her paw print. I promised Destiny as I sat with her last Friday that I will take her back to Angel Falls, and she will forever be the Queen of Ten-Ass-City.... and that moment that she showed to herself, showed me, and showed all those wonderful strangers what she was made of, will live on forever.

A sign from Destiny

I posted a link to Destiny's blog on my friends Facebook page.... and it made me enter a "captcha" phrase....

the phrase was




paradise found

On the coast of somewhere beautiful

Knew I could never hold that girl
She was born to see the world
All I got is a picture she mailed me
Barefoot in the snow white sand
A bag of sea shells in her hand
She finally found a paradise it seems

On the coast of somewhere beautiful
Trade winds blowin through her hair
Sunlight dancin on the water
And I wish I was there
Don't know how I'm goin' to find her
All I know so far
She's on the coast of somewhere beautiful
Runnin' with my heart

Sometimes whne the sun goes down
Shadows fall across this little town
And I close my eyes and I drift away
to another place in another time
When the world was ours and she was mine
I dream of holdin her again someday

On the coast of somewhere beautiful
Trade winds blowin through her hair
Sunlight dancin on the water
And I wish I was there
Dont know how I'm gonna find her
All I know so far
Shes on a coast somewhere beautiful
Runnin with my heart

Dont know how I'm goin to find her
All i know so far
Shes on the coast of somewhere beautiful
Runnin with my heart
Ohh Shes runnin with my heart
On the coast of somewhere beautiful

Life without Destiny....

First off... I want to thank each and every human and doggie for their love, support, and snuggles. Your words and woofs have gotten me through some pretty hard days.

I'm not sure how long I will keep Dessie's blog going, but I feel the need to post a little bit more.

Thank you for the poetry about the Rainbow Bridge. I remember hearing about it once before, but it helped reading it again... and yes, I am convinced that not only did my girl make it safely, but she is there guiding through the trail of life as she always did.

Destiny and I used to do alot of X-country skiing. Ski-jouring if you will. Well, we pretended we were ski jouring anyway...

Destiny took me down amazing trails, and she never waivered or wandered. She kept amazing pace, and we would fly fly fly down winding trails and across fields... Her favorite thing in the world was to get harnessed up and blaze trail. She had determination. All I would have to say is "trail" to keep her on track... click once to right, twice to left... Psssshttt to stop. Most of the time, we trailed in the silence of the snowy woods.... just the sound of my ski's, birds twirping, and snow melting in the lazy sun of winter. It was harmonious.

Well, Sunday we were supposed to get "some" snow. 3-6 inches according to most reports. We ended up getting 18".... a foot and a half of fluffy fun snow. The kind that is perfect for snow angels, perfect for skiing, perfect for playing. Dessie Lu-Lu wants Momma to play. To this day my little girl doesn't understand the concept that Momma's gotta work. lol.

So, as far as searching for signs... I don't really know if 18" of snow is THE sign... but Destiny was my soul mate. And as her soul mate... I just know she is ok... she knows I am going to be ok... We never had to say much to each other... we just knew.

I stayed with my boyfriend all weekend. In fact, Friday night Mike had to work, and I went up to his room and fell asleep early. Mike arrived home from work at about midnight to find me soundly sleeping after having cried myself to sleep.... with a Dalmatian curled right up beside me. Derby had snuck his way into bed with me, and in his own way decided it was his job to comfort me.... he is trully a good step-dog.

Yesterday we came back to my apartment for the first time since.... and it was hard. This was her home. Its so quiet and empty without her here. But, I cherish each memory I have of her here... her toys, her bed, her pictures... I want them all to remain just as they are. Derby can use them when he visits, and someday - when the Universe sends another soul to be rescued and to rescue me... it will be there for that pup too.

Tonight is my first night on my own without her or Mike. I hope I don't sound like a baby... but I am scared. I've never lived by myself before. And yes, I have my neighbors, and yes, I have my boyfriend and my sister nearby.... but its hard to explain just what I am scared of....

I used to brave the wilderness on my own.. but I wasn't alone... Destiny was never more than 10 feet away from me.

Its hard not talking to anyone. I used to sit and read the Internet and ask for Destiny's thoughts on the news. Or ask her what I should wear on a date. Or ask her what we should do today. What should we do today Des? .... Brown eyes would stare back at me with contemplation...

There is no one to ask silly questions to, sing songs that I make up the words to, or make idle conversation with.

People who don't understand offer for me to borrow their kid, dog, cat... whatever. Some are kidding, some are half kidding.... some are sincere. Like I said... Destiny is my soul mate.... you don't borrow soul mates.

Each time I break down and cry I try to stop myself and remind myself that she is in a better place free of medicines, needles, and pain. But my tears flow selfishly.... because it is my pain that I am in sorrow about. God I miss my girl.

I will get Destiny's ashes back in a couple weeks, and in the spring, I will go to Destiny's favorite places.... and I will memorialize her spirit and her adventures. I will also continue to breathe life into our spirit of adventure. We made a hell of a team her and I....

Thank you everyone again for the outpouring of love I have received here. I am amazed at this blog community ... and I am honored to be part of it.

Destiny Grace, Jan 11th 1996 - Jan 16th 2009

It is with a heavy heart I write this to all of Destiny's new-found friends. I helped my baby girl Des cross the bridge this morning.

Destiny's spirit remained unshaken - she was a fighter to the end... her spirit was willing, her body was spent.

I gathered close friends of Destiny to my home last night and we had a farewell party. My sister, my neighbors, and Mike were there to pat her, to tell her we loved her, and we watched pictures on a slide show to laugh about good times, and tell stories about our adventures together. I am so grateful the people who made her most comfortable in her last year were able to share that moment with her. She deserved to be honored.

After they left, Destiny had a hard night, and finally... finally... she convinced my heart I was doing right by her. I wont go into details about the night and what she had to endure... but I can tell you one thing - she never gave up. I sat with her all night, stroking her beautiful, soft, white fur, telling her I loved her, and that she added so much to my life. She made me a better human.

Morning came, and I never thought I could do it. I never thought I could carry her into the vet office, lay her down on a bed, and sit with her while she drifted away. But I did. I did because I told myself as strong as she has been for me, I had to be just as strong for her.

As I said... I cant do her life justice in one blog entry. 13 years ago, I went to a local animal shelter in hopes of rescuing a dog.... and instead, she rescued me.

She came into my life when I needed a friend... as I had just lost my best human friend the summer before. I was rebuilding my life, I had just bought a home with my then husband to-be, and I was just discovering who I really was... and she helped me discover myself.

We went on countless adventures - probably more than the average dog does in a life time - camping, fishing, hiking, boating, ski-jouring, snow shoeing ... you name it, we did it... we did it together. She added spark and fun to everything we did. She had an amazing way of touching peoples lives... to this day, it is my belief that she has far more friends than I do... in fact, people often remember her name before they remember mine.

She was the only one in the world who stuck by my side no matter what. A little over a year ago, we struck out on our own - I was leaving a marriage that had abruptly ended, and it was the first time I had ever lived on my own. It was a scary and lonely time. Destiny never waivered. Because of her, we got the apartment that we did... it was the only ad in the paper that didnt say "no pets" ... and, the ad said "free eggs"... come to find out, my landlords have 6 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats and a bunch of chickens. It was the perfect new home for us. She got to chase chickens, play with kids and became one of the pack. My landlords quickly became our best friends.

She stayed strong and with me through it all. She was strong when I couldnt be... she added a sense of peace and calm to my new home that only she could bring. She made sure I was happy again, and I was going to be ok... she knew that Mike and Derby would be there for me. She knew it was her time. She just had to convince me of it....

This song came on the radio this afternoon... and it says everything about what I am trying to say about her.... I needed her, she needed me... she was my Destiny.

I cried a tear
You wiped it dry
I was confused
You cleared my mind
I sold my soul
You bought it back for me
And held me up and gave me dignity
Somehow you needed me.

Chorus
You gave me strength

To stand alone again
To face the world
Out on my own again
You put me high upon a pedestal
So high that I could almost see eternity
You needed me
You needed me

And I can't believe it's you I can't believe it's true
I needed you and you were there
And I'll never leave, why should I leave
I'd be a fool
'Cause I've finally found someone who really cares

You held my hand
When it was cold
When I was lost
You took me home
You gave me hope
When I was at the end
And turned my lies
Back into truth again
You even called me friend

Repeat Chorus

You needed me
You needed me

Sweet Zoe....

Hello everyone - its Destiny's DogMa Cilly...

When I started this blog for Destiny, a lovely girl named Staci befriended me. She is the DogMa to an adorable border collie Addie, a baby puppy Lucie, and a sweet red-head - Zoe.

Zoe had heart and renal problems, but like Destiny - she was a little fighter. She loved her family, her doggie sibblings, and she loved life.

Zoe passed this morning in her Momma's arms. My heart is breaking because her story is much like Destiny - she got ill in April 2008, her Momma took wonderful care of her, and she romped and played with her puppy pals... she did the very best she could. She had a sister go before her - K-8, so she had a furry friend waiting for her on the other side.

Please give Staci some cyber hugs. DogMa's need lots of love and understanding. I wish more people understood that this is like losing a child, we need time to mourn, we need people to understand that these arent "just dogs" or "just pets"... they are our babies... their blessings are just compacted into much shorter years.

http://raisingaddie.blogspot.com/

Rest sweetly little red-headed Zoe...
XOXO
Cilly and Destiny