365 Days..

365 days from this Earth, my sweet girl. I imagine a time we are together again... frolicking through daisy peppered fields, laying on our backs and watching the clouds drift by... napping in the sun, and flicking butterflies from your ears. Explore Paradise well my girl, I want to see it all, and have you be my guid...e when I arrive. Find the best swimming holes to cool ourselves, the best rivers to fish, the most gentle fields to rest..the best trails to explore ... and in the meantime, our adventures live on in my dreams... my beautiful beautiful Destiny.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas....

or Hanukkah, or Winter Solstice, or Kwanzaa... what ever you celebrate, take the time to appreciate the true spirit and nature of the season.




This is a picture from the last Christmas I celebrated with my Destiny. It was right after a big ice storm. My girl had been very ill for quite sometime- she had been diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure in April, and she was living out her last days, being loved and cherished every moment I had her. It was a really stressful time for me. I was up with her every hour on the hour for weeks on end carrying her down my apartment stairs because she was so weak. I was administering sub-q fluids daily. She was on copious amounts of medication. She had stopped eating regular food, and what little nourishment I did get in her, I had to cook for her. I had spent all my extra money on her treatments, and I wasn't able to get my family and friends the presents I wished I could have gotten them. It just didn't feel like Christmas to me. I questioned my decision on even getting a tree, I mean, what was I thinking? Forty dollars on a tree when I can't even afford to get my family Christmas presents? But it was tradition... and I was talked into going. As I recall, my sister lent me the money.

Yet on the day we went to get the family Christmas trees... an annual tradition we have carried on for years and years, Destiny trotted down the icy road with my nephew, she pranced around as we cut down the tree. She even picked out the tree by leading me straight to the ice encrusted tree... it gleamed and sparkled in the sun like diamonds. It was breathtaking.


Oh how I cherish this moment of sweetness I captured through my camera lens... and I often wonder what she was whispering in Santa's ear? What was on her Christmas list? What were her last wishes? Had she accomplished all she had set out to do in her life?

If this was your last Christmas, what would you ask Santa to bring you? Surely the list would include things like more time with loved ones, more romps in the snow, more time to snuggle and watch the glimmering Christmas Tree.... more time to say I love you.

You might wish for more time to complete tasks undone, but I have a feeling most chores would be easily laid to rest, your work here would be complete, and you would be allowed to focus all your heart and soul on what really matters - the ones you love.

I remember decorating that Christmas tree. I remember Destiny watching as we hung each ornament. As we hung the ornaments on the tree, I noticed how beautiful each one was - I told Mike stories of where I got each ornament, or who gave it to me, or what year and significance each one had... it seemed each one had a story of someone I loved. I remember being overwhelmed and grateful to have that wonderful day with Destiny and my family. For that one day I had my girl back. She even ate a big bowl of chicken and rice that night. Hallelujah! I have a feeling I know what she asked Santa for that day.

The Holidays can be a stressful, overwhelming, busy, bustling and crazy time of year.... but take a moment - perhaps right now - to just be still. Watch your babies sleep in their beds. Take in the sights and smells of the season. Hold hands with your sweet heart. Say I love you to the people in your life who need to hear it. Practice a random act of kindness. Give thanks to your Maker for all the blessings in your life.

And imagine what your life would be like if you did that every day.

Have yourself - a merry - little - Christmas.

Joy-Prosperity-Abundance

Packing....

Hello my girl. I miss you today.

I am packing for camp.
Checking off my to-do list, my to-bring list... I have so many things to do... trying to remember it all. But I have to take a moment. To Remember.

You always knew what it meant when the tent, the sleeping bags, and all the other camping items were pulled out of storage. You would pace around excitedly. You would circle around the truck making sure I wouldn't forget you. Silly pup... I would never leave you behind!

We would spend the morning making sure we had everything - the truck would be freighted and full... geez.. we are only going for a few days - do we really need all this stuff? Of course we do. We always do.

Finally - I would look in your brown eyes - you would be shaking in anticipation... and I would say "Load up!" and you would SPRING into the truck - SO excited, so full of energy - so full of anticipation... you could hardly stand it. Its a long ride Des... settle down. You were content to sit with the windows open, the mountain air ruffling your fur, the permeating scent of pine nearly intoxicated us as we glided into the mountains. Remember?

We would finally arrive to the Height of Land. Time to stretch our legs girl - time to say hello to the lake!

You would bound from the truck, run to the edge of the road, and stand on a boulder - and suck in breathfuls of air... so joyfully, so full of anticipation.... and I would follow your lead ... I would take a deep breath... so joyfully, and another - so full of anticipation.... and another - and all the stress of the work week, the packing, the rushing and bustling to get where we were... washed away.

C'mon girl, load up, lets get up to camp.

Remember?

I do.

As soon as we arrived, you would leap from the truck and into the water .. and you paddled around until I got the tent set up, and all our things unpacked.

Bliss.

You would intently watch the squirrels, keeping one eye on me as I started a fire, and one eye on them because they are crafty suns-a-guns who liked to tease and taunt you. I remember the time you fell asleep and one little bugger sneaked right up on you. When you slowly opened your eyes you were nose to nose. I didn't know who was more startled - you or that squirrel. I do remember icing your head because you jumped up so quickly you whacked yourself on the picnic table and I swear I saw tweety birds circle around your head! That... depending on how hard you hit your head... you may not remember.

I remember our long hikes. I remember feeling safe being out in the middle of the woods alone, but I wasnt alone - I was with you.

So, I am packing for camp. The little one doesn't know what that means. She hasn't had the adventures yet, so she sits and watches as I pull out the camping items. I'm sure one day she will know, and she will learn to anticipate... but for now, it will be our secret. I am looking forward to showing her all our old places. Bald Mt, Kennebago River ... Angel Falls. I will tell her about you. I will tell her about all our adventures. I will always remember... and soon she will too.

So... I'm packing for Camp Des.... Load Up! Silly pup... I would never leave you behind!

A letter from Destiny to Lexi.....

Dear Sweet Lexi....

Every day I watch you, and I smile. You have made yourself to home, and I am so happy you came into my Momma's life. You are just what she needed. Give her a kiss for me, watch over her, keep her safe, and know that you are the luckiest pup in the world.

You have an amazing life ahead, Little One. You will go on so many adventures. Momma will keep you busy, happy and safe - make sure to always return the favor - I know you will.

I visit both of you in your dreams. I watch over both of you every day. You only know of me because of what I left for you... the unchewed toys, the empty bed, the food dishes that Momma will always keep full of food and water - just for you. You know of my stories, Momma whispers to you the tales of our adventures, she strokes your fur as you fall asleep. You live out my Legacy. Sleep soundly Little One... you are in good hands.

I am trusting my soul mate to you... I chose you. I know you have big paws to fill, but I will help you every step of the way. I am your Destiny too..... and with that, little White Dog, I leave you with the name - Lexi, Legacy of Grace.

It is your time... time to run and play, cuddle and love, skip, jump, swim, fetch, chew, romp, dance.... its your turn.... and I delight in watching you.

Little soulful brown-eyed girl - be well, play hard, sleep often, eat with gusto and delight - and love Momma with all your heart... and know that I am watching over you from Paradise.

Love, your sister
Destiny

Motherhood

A repost of one of my favorite poems...

Motherhood

All my friends have children now. Their biological clocks ticked them into a foreign world filled with bassinets and learning toys.

A few feel sorry for me, the last remaining nullipara. But those who know me best, and know my girl, know we share similar motherhood joys. Regardless of our breed of babe, we're both obsessed with the quality and quantity of our tyke's bodily wastes. And we delight in little miracles, innocent presents retrieved from beach and woods, random kisses, implicit trust, unquestioning adoration.

We teach, we spoil, we chide, we coax, we praise, we love our babies.

How can you feel sorry for a mom whose child will never fall in with the wrong crowd, do drugs, or drop out of school? Dog moms are doubly blessed. Our boys and girls grow old, but never grow up.

Taken from "Cooking with Dogs" by Karen Dowell

One year ago....

One year ago
I took a walk with Destiny

The long winter had ended -
the day was gentle and warm
We were with new friends
It was a new start for us

We were starting to break out of winter hibernation
free from the dreary walls
Out into a newly awakening spring
Out into a newly awakening life.

One year ago... I took a walk with Destiny

When we started out I had no idea
where the road would take us
where we would find ourselves
I had no idea ... but she did.

She always knew.


Every step she took was deliberate
with purpose - with passion.
I learned a life lesson that day
Never take one moment for granted

Not ONE.

I was blessed. I took a walk with Destiny.

Today I took a walk with a new girl
I told her about an old soul.
We silently reflected at the waters edge.
I gave thanks

I told my new girl about the lesson I learned
and even though she is but a baby
she understood... but was puzzled
Why do humans have to learn that lesson?

When we already know.

A roll in the dirt
a splash in the water
a romp in the fields
a bask in the warm sun...

How silly I feel... she is so wise.

It took me 35 years to appreciate
to touch, to love, to honor
to awaken.. to open my eyes
she knew long before her tiny eyes opened.

We are not born alive
they teach us to live
if we take the time
to take a walk.


Is there someone you need to walk with today?

THANK YOU STACI, ADDIE AND LUCIE

As you will read on Lexi's blog, she got a special package from Addie and Lucie and in the package, was a special present to me from Staci...

THANK YOU

from the bottom of my heart...