Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Pray for a Miracle

Hi everyone - its Cilly, Destiny's DogMa.

First off, I know I have some family and friends who read Destiny's blog - and while its hard to read "news" on a blog, I dont think I could make it through phoning all of you.... I can barely talk, let alone repeat the news over and over again... so I apologize for the lack of "personal touch".. but hope you all understand.

We got back from Dr. N's office. Mike went with me for support. I'm glad he did, because I really needed someone there to support the difficult decisions that I was making. I am grateful to have a person in my life with the strength to be by my side.

Destiny weighs 29.5#'s... half her normal body weight. That would be like me weighing 75#'s... Its frightening.

Dr N. suggested that we do an X-ray and blood tests. The blood tests I understood - but I didnt understand what the X-ray was for. Dr. N said she was looking to see what was causing Des not to eat, and to have diarrhea. "What do you think it could be?".. cancer, lymphomia, cysts, tumors....

Then what?

Then we will know.

But we cant do anything about it.

I would say her options are limited.

I dont think I want to know if there is nothing we can do for her....


We discussed other options. Some were options I thought I would never have to discuss. Today was not the day to make decisions. It was to discuss what was best for Des.

Destiny got a shot of steriods today, and a prescription for appetitite stimulants. I got more fluids, got more instructions on what to do the next two days... and I got an estimate for euthanization and cremation costs which I promptly shoved in my pocket. Hopefully I wont be needing that... but I still have to know.

With heavy hearts, we walked out of Dr. N's office, knowing that I have about 48 hours to make a decision. Destiny either eats or she doesnt. She rebounds, or she declines... but she cant go on like this...

My girl keeps giving me small glimmers of hope. Like today, as I was about to shove scrambled eggs down her throat, she starting eating them willingly. Actually, she picked them up in her mouth and spit them back on the plate - but it was the most interest she had shown towards food in almost 2 weeks. She accepted a biscuit and tried to chew it, but that ended up on the floor too. She tries SO HARD. Who am I to crush that spirit?

Des and I have gone everywhere together. From the first time I saw her sweet furry face at the kennel, I knew she was my Destiny. Since then, we have hiked mountains, swam in waterfalls, fished in rivers. We have cross country ski'd in the moonlight, basked in the sun, made snow-angels and have had snowball fights where we both ended up with facefuls of snow. We have camped under the stars, kayaked down rivers, and walked in the sand and ate pinick lunches on the beach. She was happiest on the water or the snow. I was happiest when she was happiest.

She would follow me anywhere.

But eventually, her journey will end... and mine will have to go on... without her.

You are my Destiny
You share my reverie
You are my happiness
That's what you are
You have my sweet caress
You share my loneliness
You are my dream come true
That's what you are
Heaven and heaven alone
Can take your love from me
'Cause I'd be a fool
To ever leave you dear
And a fool I'd never be
You are my Destiny
You share my reverie
You're more than life to me
That's what you are
You are my Destiny
You share my reverie
You are my happiness
That's what you are


Kodak the Eskie said...

There is nothing harder than watching our furbabies become ill. I lost my clive almost 1 year ago due to an inoperable tumor on his urethra. It is heartbreaking. I will certainly pray for a miracle for your sweet Destiny.

Hugs, Kodak and Kathy

Jan's Funny Farm said...

I read about Destiny on Kodak's blog and came by to leave some kind words. But this is even sadder than I imagined. It is so hard to have a sick pet and even harder to think of having to help that beloved pet to leave. My heart goes out to you. I so hope Destiny will rebound! But if she doesn't, I know you will have the strength to make whatever choice will be best for her. My thoughts are with you!


Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

Kodak sent me over -

My mom knows your peeps pain -
My eldest sister (she doesn't like with us but with the ex) is 14+ - Kyrye goes thru days where we think it is time - inkhluding some non eating -

Mom got some suggestions of khottage cheese mixed into her food - or cheese and/or eggs -

We'll khross our paws fur woo and stop bakhk 'round -

My mom says woo need to let her tails, ears, and eyes speak to woo - she'll let woo know -


Khyra The Siberian Husky said...


Mom's furst reskhue Sibe is now known as Destyny -

I wanted to share that with woo!


Josh and Jess said...

Hi Destiny & Mom, we just read about you over on Kodak's blog and we decided to visit and show some support. Your post made our Mom cry :( We will pray for you and your Mom, this is so heartbreaking. We will be back soon for more news.

God bless, Josh and Jessie

Raising Addie said...

We are praying for you Destiny!

I know these next few days will be difficult but please spend every second possible together ok. Lots of hugs and kisses. And watching Animal Planet together.

Our hearts are just breaking for you and your family.

Hang in there sweet Destiny.

We love you!

Addie, Zoe, Lucie and Staci

Vicki luvs Chopper ! said...

After reading this, I wish I was there to give you a hug & let the tears fall together. I've been in the same situation, with two dogs at the same time..Hardest thing I have ever done in my life....I'm truly sorry you have to go thru any of this.

She's a good girl, and it's hard to watch her be ill, heartbreaking to possibly see her go..She loves you !!! You are a good Mommy

Love on Her !!

Prayers sent your way !

Mango said...

Kodak sent me to your bloggy.

We read your entire blog from start to finish. Destiny! You are such a brave little pup. And your mom is very brave too. She will make sure that you don't suffer even though it makes her eyes cry.

My biggest Mango heart is with you.


Lacy said...

sad woof's Destiny and family, me sure hopes u get to feeling better soon...its no fun being sick...u will b in our thoughts and prayers..

git well,
~rocky and company~

bunch o'mutts said...

Dear Destiny,

we are all thinking about you and pray for the mirracle.
Hang in there.

Lorenza said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I hope everything goes well.
Take care
Kisses and hugs

Mason Dixie said...

It sounds like you have made Destiny's life the best one could ask for. Not every dog gets to do all those wonderful things and Des was fortunate enough to have someone like you. My thoughts are with you through these trying times. Thank you Addie for sending me your way.

Painter Pack said...

This dog blog world understands better than anyone. I will pray for you and Destiny...No matter what happens, your bond and your love will always remain. But miracles happen. Don't give up hope.

Mya's Mom, Sherri

Ozzie the OZmonster said...

We are hoping the best for you and Destiny. We know how you feel. Keep on hoping for the best for your best friend.

Ozzie, John, and Kelly

Casper and pals said...

Oh Cilly and Destiny, My heart aches for you both. Just reading how Destiny has been the last few days makes me feel so sad.

I will be thinking and praying for you.

Gwyn and the dogs Casper, Buddy and Nikki

The Animal Doctor said...

hi destiny's mom,
we found your blog thru our friend addie's blog. we just want you to know that we empathize with your situation. destiny is in our thoughts and prayers.

the Secretary

Ms. ~K said...

Sending prayers and positive thoughts...

Huskee and Hershey said...

Hi Destiny's mommy,
We came over from Addie's blog to send Destiny some healing vibes and send you a giant hug.
We will be crossing all our paws for a miracle for the sweet girl.
It's so hard when you have a sick pet, and it makes us (the humans) feel so helpless and useless that we can't help our furkids.
Our thoughts are with you...

Huskee and Hershey's mommy

BJ Roan said...

I read about Destiny on Addie's blog. I came by to let you know you and your family are in my prayers. Hang in there.

happy said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and Destiny.

Ruby said...

I'm so sorry that Destiny is not feeling well. I hope her appetite picks up. As an animal owner, I have felt what you are going through and know your pain.
Take care and I will be praying for Destiny.
Love Ruby

Achilles Wong said...

we read from addie about destiny.

we are hoping for the best for everyone in your family. we wish for nothing but recovery for destiny. we know that you are all undergoing a hard time now. please know that destiny and your family will be in our prayers.

it is always so difficult to cross this path with our furbabies considering how transient their lives are. We always hold deep admirations for people who open their heart and lives to animals. What you have with Destiny is special and your memories with her will always be the greatest gift that the both of you share.

We hope you will be filled with the strength needed to endure teh quandaries of today and tomorrow. You are a wonderful person and the best mommy to Destiny. Whatever it is that you may decide on, we know that Destiny will understand.

God bless you


River said...

We saw the news about Destiny on the DWB site. We know exactly how you feel and it's horrible. The decision to let go or wait a little while longer have often made my mom physically ill. I do believe that the humans who know us best will make the best decision they can.

Prednisone is what our vet has given to every dog who was failing and it worked well to stimulate appetites. Hopefully, it will help Destiny to enjoy her scrambled eggs. We'll be thinking of you, sending beagle hugs and all the love and hope we can muster.

love & wags,
River & mom, Stephanie

Amber said...

I came by to say that I am thinking positive thoughts for you and your Destiny. I am a friend of Addie's and I really hope your sweet Destiny starts eating. What a beautiful girl she is and it sounds like you have had some wonderful times together. :)

Thinking of you,
Amber and Nala

Opy - the Original GruffPuppy said...

We are so sorry you are facing some very tough decisions - our hearts break for you - and we are all here if you need us.

Give Destiny a big hug for us - she is a fighter.

Also, I see the heading of your blog post from a few days again "I won't give up if you don't give up" - Greg and I had that tattooed on our arms just before Christmas - it became our motto with all that we have went through with Charlie.

Take care my friend.


Brooke, Greg, Opy & Charlie

Lauren said...

Addie sent us your way - Our thoughts are with you. It's so hard when our best friends are hurting. We've all been there, but it's never easy to say goodbye. We're keeping our fingers crossed that she gets that appetite back.

Hana said...

We are sorry to hear this news about Destiny. Hopefully she will eat something very soon. Have you tried hot dogs? Cheese? I have heard most dogs will eat hot dogs even when they are not feeling well.

We are sending positive thoughts your way and strength to the both of you.


Hi Destiny-
Our thoughts are with you. Last year my mom had to make a difficult decision too. Des will let you know. One poem that helped my mom is this one

We will keep thinking positive thoughts.

♥玮倩 said...

I get to know about Destiny through Addie's blog. I will pray that Destiny stay strong.

Take cares

Asta said...

I'm pwaying that you and Destiny don't have to go thwough all this pain..I know that the love you have fow each othew will always be thewe
Mommi knows how you feel and is cwying
smoochie kisses

Schmoopy said...

We are soo sorry to hear about Destiny! Reading your blog brought tears down my cheeks! I suspect the vet may have provided you with a special food that is designed for dogs with Kidney disease, (it is low protein and contains a lot of the nutrients needed so the kidneys don't have to work so hard.) Years ago I had a young cat that had kidney failure and had to give this special diet (actually I had to really get it soft and give it with a syringe as my kitty wouldn't eat it at first. It really helped) I don't want to give ou false hopes because I don't know if it will help Destiny but I thought I would mention it just in case. No matter what, I am sure you will make whatever decisions you have to and I am so sorry as I know how difficult a time like this is. Our thoughts and prayers are with you!!

Here is a site that contains some information you may want to check out if you haven't already...

"Kidney prescription dog food diet both extend and improve the quality of life in dogs with renal disease"

"A healthy dog has no problems with protein in dog food; in fact proteins are essential nutrients. But for a dog with kidney disease, protein can function as mere poison (though his body still needs amino acids for building and replacing tissue cells).
Kidney disease dog food therefore should have a lower protein percentage but the protein in the dog food should be of high bio-availability."

"Because dogs with canine kidney disease don’t feel like eating and because a low protein diet is not very tasty (proteins and fats are what make the food palatable to dogs) it can be hard to get your sick dog to eat. Dog food manufacturers have to pay attention to this fact when creating recipes for kidney patients. Also the food needs to be very concentrated nutrition-wise, in order for a dog with a low appetite to eat enough to support his energy and nutrient requirements."

"Every regular dog treat can disturb the protein levels. You may give this to do your dog (with renal failure) a favor but it actually makes him sicker."

Our hearts go out to you!!

-Schmoopy, Sassy, Mia & Kate

Bae Bae said...

I came here from Kodak's blog. I'll keep my paws crossed for Destiny.

~ Bae

Sen, Tama and Tom said...

We came over from Addie's when we heard. We feel for you and know what it's like to see a beloved friend ill and not be able to work miracles. But remember that loving each other is the true miracle.

Tom, Tama-Chan and #1

Pipa said...

dear Cilly

This is the firts time I come here and... Gosh, I'm almost crying. I want Destiny so much to fight hard and to continue her jouerney with you! I'll pray for Destiny and I sincerely wish she will be better and sharing her joy with you.



Maggie and Mitch said...

Our hearts are breaking for all of you! Our paws are crossed for you, Destiny!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Penny, Poppy & Patches said...

We will be praying for a miracle for you! Sometimes we have to make really hard decisions to do what is best, but it is never easy! We will keep our paws crossed for all of you!

Poppy, Penny & Patches

Comet and BLU said...

Our eyes are leaking as we read this. We are sending positive thoughts your way that Destiny will find the strength to eat. We know what a difficult decision it can be to decide whether to keep waiting for improvement or let a loved one go. We wish the best to you and your family.
Comet and BLU

The Bumpass Hounds said...

We came over from DWB. We share your pain and realize the difficulty that you face. You'll do what is right for you Destiny.
- The Bumpass Hounds

The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this – the last battle – can’t be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don’t let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn’t want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend,
Only, stay with me ‘til the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its’ last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don’t grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We’ve been so close – we two – these years,
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.
- Anonymous

Samantha: said...

Hey Destiny - My peeps adopted me at 9 months old with full-on kidney disease. I guess I was lucky cause my #s are ok for now, but I'm so sorry you feel so yucky. Addie told me about your disease - and I'm heartsick for you - I'll be thinking about you lots and sending really, really good thoughts your way. Soft woofs to you, Destiny. X0

Andrea said...

I don't know you at all, but please know that as a fellow dog lover my thoughts and prayers are going out to you and Destiny. I really hope she pulls through.